one flesh in the sight of God

I have embedded my precious memories of our wedding day away in the back of my mind since that snowy saturday. to be honest, I am afraid of degrading the day with my inadequate words. nothing could truly do justice to the delicacy of what we experienced.

pictures will follow, but for now, I want to document what it truly felt like to marry the most courageous, honest, and pure soul I have ever known.

I woke up to gracefully falling snow outside of my hotel window. my heart was full and my mind was racing. I stared at the number 26 on my phone for far too long, trying countless times to convince myself that we really had made it to our wedding day. it was here and this was it.

finally.

even then, however, I was sure that the moment I could carry his last name would never come. the last few hours felt longer than the last few years. and even though time crept along painfully, life was truly moving at a pace I could not keep up with.

four o'clock did come, and despite the fact that I'd been in my dress for nearly five hours, filming and photographing had occurred, the dress had ripped three times, been restitched, and I was already shuffling down the aisle far too quickly with my father on my right arm- I still didn't feel like I was really existing in that moment. It still hadn't settled in my bones, and I'm not sure that it has- even today.

when my peach sneakers and snow soaked train had made its way to the end of that tiny aisle, my eyes fell into his, and I felt nothing but peace.

my grandfather married us underneath golden chandeliers, encircled by a sea of support, and the utmost love (along with 10+ cameras), yet I saw nothing but Steven.

through simple words and sweet promises, I married my first love,
pronounced 'husband and wife, and one flesh in the sight of God.'

it was every bit of what I waited through oceans and aching airplane trips for. it was more. it was so much more.

my eyes flooded with tears and allowed my swelling heart a small amount of breathing room. steven handed me a hankie and we were embraced by the beautiful people that were there for us.

then- we celebrated.

the reception room was filled with stunning flowers and the most perfect version of the vision I had had of my wedding night. (again... pictures are coming.)
toasts were made, and boogieing down was a blast. the food was incredible too. oh my. with fresh fruit, succulent dishes, and adorable pastries.

my whole body flooded with gratitude, and to this day, I feel like the luckiest lady alive.

not only was the entire day perfect, (and I use that word sparingly)-
but I am n'tima preusser, and I have never wanted anything more.

love, N